Heist
by possumgurl
Summary: Harry Potter plans the heist of a lifetime involving the robbing of a prestigious wizard’s bank Gringotts. Ocean’s 11 Potter style HPGW PostHogwarts Slightly AU
1. Prologue

Potter's 11…

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter _or _Ocean's Eleven. The lines in this chapter were borrowed from Ocean's Eleven – I do not own them and am merely using them for plot purposes. The plot, however, does belong to me…

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Prologue

-

"Good morning."

A young man with messed, raven-black hair and piercing green eyes walked into the hearing room. He took his place in a chair at the front, which immediately came to life, entwining him in chains, and rendering him unable to escape.

"Morning," the man said politely.

"Please state your name for the record," the same woman said. She sat on a bench in the back row, higher than the rest.

"Harry Potter," said Harry Potter, the man who all seemed to be focusing their attention on.

"Thank you," the woman stated. "Mr. Potter, the purpose of this hearing is to determine whether if released you are likely to break the law again. While this was your first conviction, you have been implicated, though never charged, in over a dozen other confidence schemes and frauds. What can you say about this?"

"As you say ma'am, I was never charged," Harry Potter stated plainly, neither his gaze, nor his voice wavered.

"Mr. Potter, what we're trying to find out is – was there a reason you chose to commit this crime? Or was there a reason you simply got caught this time?"

Harry shifted as best as he could in the chair while chained down, staling.

"My wife left me. I was upset. I got into a self-destructive pattern," he told the committee before him. His face was expressionless, but he had a slight arrogance about him.

"If released, is it likely that you'd fall back into a similar pattern?"

The corners of Harry's lips twitched up slightly.

"She already left me once, I don't think she'd do it again just for kicks."

"Mr. Potter, what do you think you would do if released?"

-

A/N: Alright folks, I've been planning this for a while now. I'll try to update soon but I'm still working out the finer points and it could take awhile, but I swear to you, no matter how long it takes, _it will not be abandoned_. Please review…

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	2. Bloody hell!

Potter's 11…

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Ocean's Eleven. Also, just for this chapter, I don't own Rupert, Daniel, or Emma. I do, however, own the plot…he's my own little bunny and he's going to stay that way. :Pets bunny who is rightfully called 'Plot':

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Chapter 1 – Bloody hell…!

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Harry Potter let the small grains fall through his fingers. He took a pinch of the floo powder from the flowerpot on his mantle, then threw it into the blazing fire. The flames instantly roared and turned an eerie shade of emerald green. Harry knelt down on his hands and knees and stuck his head into the fire without a moments hesitation.

"Ministry of Magic, Bowman Crumbles office," he stated, his head still encased in green flames.

His head spun and he grew unbearably dizzy as fireplace after fireplace flashed before his eyes. He squeezed them shut, groaning, and when finally he opened them, he was looking into a small, but lavish office. A stout man sat at a desk on the far side of the room. Behind him was a window through which a stormy sky could be seen. Harry smiled as he remembered Arthur Weasley telling him of the charmed windows and how the weather depended on the staff's moods.

The man looked over to the fireplace and jumped when he saw Harry's head.

"I was told to contact you after twenty-four hours," Harry said calmly.

"Oh, yes, yes, Mr. Potter…" the man looked at Harry suspiciously from over his reading glasses, which were balancing precariously on the tip of his rather large nose. He was Bowman Crumble, the head of the Azkaban Recovery Program at the Ministry. "Have you been getting into any trouble?"

"No sir."

"Have you been drinking?"

"No sir," Harry answered again.

"Have you left the country?"

"No sir," Harry told him, "I wouldn't even think about leaving the country."

-

"Hello Dean."

The man at the small kiosk looked up from the Knuts he was dishing out to Harry.

"I'm sorry," the man said firmly, "but you must have the wrong person. My name, as you can see here," at this the man pointed to his fancy name badge which said 'Dottle's Wizard Bank', "my name is Ian."

"Ah," said Harry, "of course. I'm sorry, I must have been thinking of someone else."

-

Harry took another sip of the burning fire whiskey before him.

"Hello Harry," a man said as he sat down at the Harry's table. "Dean Thomas isn't permitted to work at banks after _that fiasco _I'm afraid."

"Dean," said Harry smirking.

The man from the bank sat before him now. He was Dean Thomas, or, in some cases, Ian Omickshire.

"You seen him?" Asked Harry.

"The last I heard he was teaching movie stars how to play chess. Why?" Dean asked. "You got a plan already?"

"Are you kidding? I just got the right to my wand back again!"

-

"No, no, no, no, no! Rupert! You cannot move the bloody pawn like that!"

Rupert looked up from the chessboard before him. It's occupants moved uncomfortably and grumbled in annoyance.

Ron Weasley corrected him and turned to a girl across the table.

"That's not the move to make, Emma, you'll lose your knight."

Emma sighed and analyzed her board again hoping to come up with a worthwhile move.

"Bloody hell Daniel! You cannot instruct the _other player's_ pieces! Only your own!"

Daniel looked up, fazed.

"But…but why not?" He asked Ron.

Ron sighed and cradled his head in his hands. He looked up just at the moment to find Rupert directing his only remaining pawn to do 'what ever the bloody hell you want' and see the said pawn jump off the board and run for cover from the enraged stone Queen chasing it.

"Bloody hell…" Ron muttered under his breath.

-

Ron walked into the dark alley outside of the Leaky Caldron.

"Lumos," he muttered. A slight glow appeared at the tip of his wand, illuminating the area. Ron spotted a figure in the shadows and smirked. "So, you're out then."

"Of course," said Harry.

With one look at Harry's face, Ron immediately knew he was up to something.

"What is it this time?" He asked.

"Nothing big," Harry said with a look on his face that meant it was clearly something big.

"Nothing big my arse," Ron said hotly.

Harry smiled and ran his hand through his already disastrous looking hair.

"You know me much too well for your own good."

-

"Are you insane!" Ron bellowed. "Why – why – why that's absolutely bloody impossible!"

Harry smirked at his friend's reaction.

"Impossible?" He asked innocently, cocking his head.

"Yes. Impossible. There is just too much guarding it. It's impossible…" Ron broke off. "You'll need a hell of a lot of skilled wizards…"

Harry smiled.

"We'll come up with them somehow…"

"But I mean _really _Harry, why in Merlin's name would you chose Gringotts…and _don't _say money…wait…Gringotts…bloody _hell_ Harry! Do you not know who _owns _Gringotts?"

"Of course I do," Harry told him, "everybody does."

"But Harry," Ron whined, "Draco Malfoy?"

-

A/N: Well, here it is. A bit faster than I expected to be honest…Thanks to all who reviewed and please do so again (after all – it makes me update faster…). Also, if you haven't already, I strongly suggest that you all watch Ocean's Eleven, you would find this funnier (and it's also a good movie).

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	3. The Beginning of Plans

Potter's 11, Chapter Two

* * *

After a load of artful convincing from Harry, Ron finally agreed to his best friend's practically impossible plan. 

"So, how many?"

"A good few."

"If you've got anything right, it's that. So, who will it be?"

Harry spent a few moments thinking, sporting a look of deep confusion. Then he began to tick off the names of his choices on his fingers.

"Seamus, Hagrid, Fred, George, Neville, Luna, Dumbledore, Dean, and," Harry sighed, "we're going to need Hermione."

Ron's face contorted into an intense expression of disbelief.

"Harry," Ron began in a voice that said Haveyougoneutterlyandinsanelymad! Yesofcourseyouhave., "she. Would. _Never._ Do. It. Ever. She's more likely to fail all her exams. She's more likely to declare her undying love for You Know Who. She is more likely to – to do bloody _anything_ than rob anything…_most especially Gringotts._"

"I know."

"If I were you, I wouldn't have even planed on _telling _her, let alone trying to get her to join in on the scandal."

"I know you would."

Ron threw up his hands in mock defeat.

"Fine. Fine. If you can find a way to convince her, then – then do it, just – just don't try to get me to help you do it. She would tell mum. And mum would kill me. And then you wouldn't have me. Where would you be without me!"

"Right," said Harry. "I won't mention a word."

Ron ran a hand through his fiery hair and looked Harry straight in the eyes.

"Good luck mate, no doubt you'll need it."

Harry smirked and nodded.

"Well, I'm off to bed then," Ron stated as he began to walk up the stairs. "G'night."

"Don't let the bed bugs bite," Harry quipped sarcastically.

"Bugger off," Ron grumbled. "I'll send them down to you."

* * *

Harry rapped loudly on the door of Hermione's office. The witch had graduated Hogwarts and gone on to become the so far permanent Defense Against the Dark Arts professor at the magical school. 

"Come in!" She called brightly from inside.

Harry pushed the door open and stepped in slowly.

"Harry!" Hermione shrieked, rushing over from her paper-crowded desk to embrace her friend warmly. "You're back."

"Yes, it's good to see you Hermione," he told her, smiling. "I have something to ask you. A – a big favor."

"Yes Harry, of course, anything," she told him.

They walked over to her desk. Harry sat in the chair facing it and met Hermione's brown eyes carefully.

"I don't believe that you'll say that after I've asked it," Harry replied plainly.

Hermione's smile faded a bit.

"What is it Harry? Are you – are you _in trouble again_?" She whispered.

"Well, no…but…"

"Yes?" Hermione pried.

"We, ah, I need your help for a, ah, _job_," He told her slowly, slightly stumbling over some of the words.

"WHAT! Harry! How could you! You've just been released!" Hermione shouted, her eyes welling up with tears. "And how could you ask _me_!"

Harry closed his eyes and took a deep breath, sadness setting in.

"Forgive me Hermione, please," he whispered. "But it's very important."

"What could be more important than our friendship, and your freedom, your life, Harry?" Hermione narrowed her eyes. "What do you plan on doing?"

Harry glanced upwards fleetingly and looked down to meet her eyes.

"Gringotts."

There was a horrible, prolonged pause. Harry closed his eyes, unable to watch Hermione.

"I don't believe you. What did they do to you in Azkaban Harry? What happened to your values, and your _sanity _for Merlin's sake? I mean, GRINGOTTS?"

Harry sighed heavily. He had been expecting a reaction like this, but now that it had come, he was slightly regretting asking her.

"Hermione. Please, it's very important. It's not just about the money this time, I promise." His intense green eyes pleaded with her.

Hermione deflated, but narrowed her eyes sharply.

"What's this all about?" She asked him slowly.

Harry sighed again, his eyes darting around the office.

"You know who owns it, don't you?" He asked, finally giving in.

Hermione snorted.

"Yes…"

"Well, Malfoy…you know who he's, ah, with, don't you? Who he's dating?"

"Harry? This is about _her_?" Hermione answered, flustered.

"Yes, Hermione." Harry paused. "I need to get her back, and…and I need your help, please Hermione."

Harry held his breath as he waited for his friend's response.

Hermione sighed.

"Alright, I suppose."

* * *

A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed, or will review, I really appreciate it. I hope you all enjoyed the chapter! 


	4. Vertigo

"She's in," he breathed into the phone, hardly believing the words himself.

"Excuse me?" Ron asked, his bewilderment plain, even through the phone line.

"Hermione's in," Harry repeated.

"Hermione Granger?" Ron asked in amazement.

"Yes Hermione Granger you dolt, how many other Hermione's do you think there are?"

There was a heavy silence for a few moments.

"Whoa." Ron was stunned.

"Yeah."

"But…but…but _Harry_," Ron hissed suddenly, "that's horrible, not to mention illegal, not to mention completely immoral and cruel!"

"What the bloody hell are you going on about Ron?"

"You put her under the Imperius Curse!"

"No I bloody well did not! She agreed to it of her own accord. And – bloody hell – Ron, do you really think I would do that to anybody, let alone Hermione?"

"You're serious then? Hermione's in?"

"Yes. She's in," Harry spoke, annoyance clear in every word.

"Wow. That's just…wow."

"Yes, it is, now bugger off, I've got things to do."

---

Ron, Dean, and Hermione were all in. That left Seamus, Hagrid, Fred, George, Neville, Luna and Dumbledore. Seven to go and they would be ready.

But who to go to first?

---

Harry walked through the leaf-strewn grounds, looking up at Hogwarts Castle. It's windows glowed warmly as the first candles of the evening were lit. An owl flew out of one of the Owlery's immense windows, catching the maneuvering wind beneath its preened wings and soaring off over the darkening forest. The surface of the lake was glassy and smooth as the setting sun painted a masterpiece of orange and pink seeping into a deep purple over its expanse. Harry walked calmly up the great stone stairs to the large wooden door, his hands in his pockets. He pushed it open and stepped into the welcoming warmth of the Entrance Hall.

Harry could smell the evening's meal wafting out into the Hall from the Great Hall. It smelled delicious and he was instantly reminded of the great golden plates that you could see your face in and how the meals would appear just as you were sure you would go insane with hunger. He remembered his life at Hogwarts as if it were yesterday, no matter how much he wished for it to be today.

Harry mounted the marble staircase, making his way to the former office of Professor Sprout. He reached the door and took a seat against the outer wall – he knew that Neville would still be at dinner. As he waited, he shut his eyes, falling into a calm sleep.

---

"Harry?"

Neville's perplexed voice interrupted the dream he had been having. It had been about a day when he was in the sixth year. It was the day he had made the decision to break it off with Ginny, for her safety. It had been a stupid day.

"Neville," said Harry, standing up from his position on the floor.

"What are you doing here?"

"I need to speak with you Neville. It's something important."

"Of course," Neville moved over to unlock the door, "come in."

"Thank you."

Harry stepped into the office and was immediately greeted by green.

Green, everywhere. There were spots of other colors, where flowers or strange colored leaves were, but the majority of the room was green. Plants were everywhere – on shelves, stools, the desk, and the floor. Big plants, medium plants, small plants, you name it.

"Well," Harry said, taking a deep breath, "it seems as though you picked the right profession."

"That I did," Neville smiled and offered Harry a chair, one of the few objects in the room that was not sprouting leaves.

Harry took a seat across from Neville.

"When were you released?"

"Last week."

"Congratulations."

"Thank you. Listen, Neville, I need your help with something. Something that needs a lot of people's help."

There was a short pause before Neville spoke.

"Something or _Something_?" He asked knowingly. Without Snape and Malfoy constantly bringing him down, Neville proved to be very smart.

"_Something_," Harry responded. There was no point in beating around the bush.

"What do you have in mind? I can't promise to help you Harry, but I'll think it over."

"Gringotts."

Neville blinked.

"What's this all about Harry?"

"I need the money," he said smoothly. "And the look on his face."

"Malfoy's?" Neville asked.

"Malfoy's."

"I've got to think about this Harry."

"I know, that's all you have to do for now."

Neville smiled, then let out a little laugh.

"The look on his face…" He trailed off, a gleam in his eyes.

Harry grinned. But he didn't care what Malfoy's face would look like. Not a bit.

He needed to get her back.

---

A/N: I'm not going to try to cover it, I know it's been too long and I'm sorry for making everyone wait. Thank you so much for sticking to it, I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Oh, and as a note, Lee was changed to Luna. I decided the group could do with a bit more female participation, as well as an occasional dose of Luna's intense bizarreness. And I've just realized how close it's getting to the eighteenth, which means I had better get on with re-reading GoF.


	5. Snorkacks and Lemon Drops

Harry sat down at the large wooden desk in his bedroom and pulled a blank piece of parchment from the stack to his left. He rummaged in a drawer for a quill (that wasn't broken) and after finding one, dipped it into a well of green ink.

_Gringotts_

_-Ron-_

_-Hermione-_

_-Neville-_

_-Dean-_

_Luna_

_Fred & George_

_Dumbledore_

_Seamus_

_Hagrid_

He slashed through the first four names and set the quill down with a sigh. _Four down, six to go…_

---

Harry only re-checked the address once. After all, he really shouldn't have been at all surprised. He drove through the gates and parked next to a large tree sprouting some bulbous, foul-smelling pink…things and walked up to the door, all the while staring in amazement at the creation that was Luna Lovegood's house.

To call it a house was perhaps a bit of an understatement. _The Quibbler_ was obviously quite profitable, because the building was more like a mansion than anything, though it was nothing like any mansion that Harry had ever seen. Ever.

The structure was covered in spherical blue protrusions that squealed and popped spectacularly when prodded. Purple ooze crawled its way down the face of the house, disappearing magically before it reached the ground. A new blue bulge would grow in the dead one's place, restoring the wall to its original glory.

The roof had spectacularly large green flowers growing from every inch of it. They were whispering. It was quite alarming. Harry noticed large pink insects flying around to each of the flowers, pollinating them. One flew down near to him and he could tell that it whispered too. The big bug was shivering in fear. Harry heard it say something about Crumple-horned Snorkacks before flying away again.

Something large and hairy nudged Harry in the back, and he jumped, whipping around to face it. The Snorkack came up to Harry's waist. It was a drab shade of brown and had a nose like an accordion. It snorted loudly and Harry jumped. It looked hungry. Harry smiled uncomfortably and gingerly patted it on the head. The Snorkack snorted, then walked away dejectedly, obviously realizing that Harry had nothing for him. Harry finally walked up the steps to the large door. The door was carved with a large Crumple-horned Snorkack eating a muffin. Harry blinked, then knocked softly on the door, hoping it wouldn't spontaneously blow up in his face.

The left side of the Snorkack door swung open, and Luna Lovegood stood framed in the doorway. She was wearing deep purple robes that had a collection of pockets, all of differing sizes. She held a copy of _The Quibbler_ under her arm. Harry could vaguely make out the words: _Harry Potter – Released From Azkaban – Or Was He?_ With the subtitle: _What the Ministry Isn't Telling You._

Luna spoke, her voice as airy and bewildered as ever.

"Oh…Harry. I was just reading about you."

"Oh," Harry cleared his throat, "erm…were you?"

"Oh yes. About how the ministry created a double of you so they could keep the real you in custody. Quite fascinating, really."

"Erm. Yeah…Listen, I really need to talk to you Luna."

"You can come in. I'll put a pot of Bertie Bott's Every Flavored Tea on…though I think there's only the Spinach kind left…"

"Oh, um…no, that's quite all right Luna. That won't be necessary."

"Alright then."

Luna moved aside to let Harry into the large foyer. There was a Snorkack head mounted on the wall above a framed assortment of butterbeer caps. Luna motioned Harry to the left into the sitting room.

"Um. So, do you live here alone?" Harry asked her, taking a seat on the normal-looking couch. The couch said 'ouch.' Harry shifted uncomfortably.

"On no. My daddy lives here too. He's not here now, though. He's at the office; he's been quite busy lately.

"Has he?"

"Yes," Luna was patting a cat that had just jumped into her lap. It was a sickly shade of yellow and had three tails.

"Listen, Luna, I have a big favor to ask of you," Harry shifted again, and the couch grumbled in annoyance.

"Hmmm?" The cat was purring. One of its tails fell off and landed on the ground. Harry jumped, and the couch cursed loudly.

"Your cat!" Harry's eyes were wide.

"Oh it's quite alright. Happens all the time. Grows right back, nothing to worry about - that one was just getting old…he's had it for a month, you know? There'll be a new one in a few days."

"Oh. Um, well Luna. I need your help with something. You see, a few friends and I, we're going to…well, break into Gringotts."

"Oh? Are you? Well – that sounds quite exciting."

Harry was shocked.

"Erm…does it?"

"Oh yes! Father would love to write about it. Yes, quite exciting."

"Well. Um. Would you like to help then?"

"Can I really?" Luna's protuberant eyes lit up with happiness.

Harry nodded encouragingly, amazed at Luna's enthusiasm.

"How will we get in? Will we use a Fractrated Break In Device? That's what the Ministry uses, you know. Highly illegal."

"Well…um…you see Luna…"

---

Harry stepped through the brick arch that opened onto Diagon Alley. He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his robes and kept his head down, trying not to draw attention to himself. He held his breath as he rushed past the Apothecary trying to avoid the unsavory smell that wafted out to meet his nose. Owls hooted from Eeylops Owl Emporium, and Harry could see their jewel bright eyes shining through the window. He would much rather be in ensconced in the darkness of the Owl Emporium than out in the crowd of people whispering about how he was a convict, rushing their young children away from him, saying how they always knew he had a funny look about him. Harry hurried on.

A bell tinkled as he entered Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. The shop was full of students chuckling at the latest joke spell and young wizards harassing their girlfriends with disappearing mice and spiders. Harry tried hard not to look at the gaggle of girls surrounding the pygmy puffs' cage.

"They're really cute!" one of them squealed.

Harry squeezed his eyes shut for a moment and moved quickly through the throng to the counter.

"Harry!"

Fred and George were wearing an outrageous pair of robes. They reminded Harry of a play he had seen after Hogwarts with one of his muggle friends called _Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat_. Technicolor being the key word there.

Fred and George came around the side of the counter and slapped Harry on the back.

"Out of Azkaban then?" George grinned. "Learned the error of your ways have you?"

"Actually…can we talk in back?"

Fred shouted to a pretty blonde girl straightening a rack of U-No-Poo stickers. "Oi! Verity! Man…or should I say wo-man the counter, we've got some business to attend to!" The twins led Harry to the back of the store.

"So, what's up Harry?"

"I'm breaking into Gringotts."

Fred laughed. "Sounds like great fun."

"I'm serious. And I need your help."

The two looked a bit hesitant, but agreed right away.

"We're with you every step of the way, mate. We owe you big. Without those Triwizard winnings, we would not be standing here. We'd be janitors at the Leaky Caldron, or something equally dreadful, and -"

"Yes, alright. Thanks very much. Now I owe you two one."

"Not at all Harry, not at all. As a matter of fact, have a Canary Cream…we know you like those."

Harry eyed the cream warily.

"Thanks, but I think I'll pass. Good luck with the shop, I'll get in touch with you two soon."

Harry moved back into the joke shop and through the crowd of customers. The bell tinkled again as the door swung closed behind him. He shivered in the cold that had settled in while he had been in the Weasley's shop. The sky above was cloudy and gray. A drop of rain ran down the lens of his glasses.

The great white marble expanse of Gringotts Wizard Bank rose up before him from across the street. He could see two figures in the brightly lit foyer. A towheaded man embraced a woman with fiery red hair. She was laughing. A few more raindrops fell. And then they were kissing and rain poured from the sky in torrents, reflecting Harry's mood. It disgusted Harry beyond belief, but he couldn't look away. He couldn't move out of the rain. His robes were soaked through, but he forced himself to stand there and watch as pieces of his world fell apart bit by bit and were washed away into the darkness.

---

"Come in."

Harry pushed the door inward and stepped into the aged Headmaster's circular office.

"Ah, Harry. I thought I might be seeing you soon. Have a seat."

"Thank you." Harry lowered himself into one of the two chairs in front of Dumbledore's desk and politely refused the lemon drop he was offered.

Dumbledore sat back in his high-backed chair and surveyed Harry over tented fingers. His eyes twinkled.

"Headmaster, I -"

"I know why you're here Harry." Dumbledore interrupted.

Harry was astonished.

"But how could you possibly -"

"Miss Granger is a very good friend Harry. You should thank her sometime."

Recognition crossed Harry's face. He settled back into his chair and passed a hand across his face.

"Sir, I -"

"It's alright Harry. What you and your friends are planning to do is against wizarding law."

Harry felt guilt cloud his senses. How could he ask this of Dumbledore? Asking the others to break the law was bad enough, but Dumbledore was a great wizard and Harry's mentor. For all Harry knew, the Headmaster may have already turned him in. The dementors would probably be arriving any minute now. He should never have come.

Harry stood up.

"Sit down Harry."

Harry sat down reluctantly, lowering his head into his hands.

"I am going to help you Harry."

Harry's head shot up. He fixed Dumbledore with a bewildered stare.

"Why would you -"

"Love, Harry. You love Miss Weasley very much. Even I, a dithering old man can see that. And I am willing to help you win her back, even if it means breaking the law. There's not enough love left in the world - we might as well preserve any that remains…Lemon drop?" he offered again.

This time, Harry accepted.


End file.
